No one warned me that in my early 4

No one warned me that in my early 40's.
I would start cooing longingly intoprams.
I was totally unprepared to meet this new aspect of myself.
My ownnest had just emptied and I was eagerly filling the 'vacuum' with innumerablecareer and globe-trotting adventures.
Admittedly the master vision for therest of my life did include a few happy granny and grandpa scenes, but theywere more distant and more a family joke than a serious prediction.
So thisstrange primitive urge to extend my family into another generation was bothperplexing and even a little irritating.


When the right time came, I had, of course, every intention of becoming aconscientious, involved grandparent.
But that was more about doing the rightthing for the children than fulfilling a deep instinctive need of my own.
As apsychotherapist, I am hyper-aware of how life-transforming a goodrelationship with a grandparent can be.
It offers so much more than treats,extra quality time and cheap nannying.
Good grandparents help buildpsychological security by making their grandchildren feel part of a muchwider, diverse and stable supportive family network.
They also give them asense of their place in history and evolution and give their life a meaningfulsense of perspective.


Even when we reach adulthood, our psychological health can be affected bythe relationship that we may or may not have had with our grandparents.
Ifrequently work with people who have (to put it mildly!)
a less than perfectrelationship with their own parents.
Many times I have been able to helppeople heal emotionally by simply reawakening a cherished memory of amuch happier and more unconditionally loving relationship with agrandparent.


Alan was, in his own words, ‘a hopeless case of workaholism’.
He still felldriven by trying to please his ambitious, perfectionist father.
But, fortunately,I discovered that he had also received a much more unconditional kind oflove from his calmer, happier and affectionate grandfather.
Putting a photoof his granddad on his desk helped Alan keep his promise to himself tomaintain better balance in his life.


Similarly, another client, Angela, had very low self-esteem.
We found that byjust recalling her grandmother's look of pure joy when she used to greet herafter school each day, Angela could give herself a powerful boost ofconfidence whenever she needed it.


Until I became a grandparent myself, however, I never appreciated howimportant Alan and Angela must have been for the happiness and welfare oftheir grandparents.


Nowadays, the chances of children and grandparents having such intimate,mutually satisfying relationships are fast diminishing.
Recent researchrevealed that in Britain, one out of twenty grandparents is likely to have hadno contact whatsoever with at least one of their grandchildren during thepast five years.
There are many reasons for this new distancing ofgenerations.
Sometimes, it's mere geography that keeps them apart.
Irecently met a woman who proudly showed me a picture of her family inAustralia.
Unfortunately, she told me, she hadn't ever visited them, andhadn't even seen her five-year-old granddaughter.
Her son had brought overhis seven-year-old son six years ago, but he hadn't had the time or money tovisit since.
She explained that she herself had a heart condition, which wouldmake a long flight too risky.

The positive aspect of this story was that, however sad this situation was forboth parties, there appeared to be no bitterness or resentment.
But many grandparents feel quite differently.
They're being forced apart fromtheir grandchildren by less acceptable factors of modern society.
Perhapspressure of time maintains the distance.
After all, nowadays, even if closeextended families live within easy visiting distance, they may still not seemuch of each other.
Parents often spend so much of their precious weekendscleaning, shopping and decorating that they hardly have time to get to knowtheir children.
Equally, the children themselves may have such a heavyweekend of programmed activity that their time is also stretched to its limits.
A visit to or from grandparents feels like a luxury that no one can afford.


Another increasingly common reason for estrangement is the break-up offamily through divorce or separation.
Many grandparents who consequently lose contact with their grandchildren go through a painful bereavementprocess, which can even lead to emotional and physical illness.
This isbecause they never give up hope.
They will not accept the finality of separation or loss.
It seems that the grandparenting instinct and bond is sostrong that it is rarely killed by even the most bitter family squabbles and separations.

Результаты (английский) 2:

No one warned me that in my early 40's.
I of Would the start cooing longingly intoprams.
I of WAS Totally unprepared to the meet the this new the aspect of myself.
The My ownnest HAD just emptied and I of WAS eagerly filling the 'vacuum' with innumerablecareer and globe-trotting adventures .
Admittedly the the master vision for therest of up my life: DID the include a FEW happy granny and grandpa's scenes, But theywere more Distant and more a family joke than a serious In game Prediction.
for So thisstrange primitive urge to the extend up my family Into another generation WAS bothperplexing and is even a little irritating.


for When the right time CAME, I of HAD, of course the, every the intention of Becoming aconscientious, is involved grandparent.
But That WAS more about doing the rightthing for the children than fulfilling a deep-instinctive need of up my own.
of As apsychotherapist, I of am a hyper-aware of how of life:-transforming a a goodrelationship with a grandparent CAN the BE.
It Offers SO much more than Treats, extra quality time and cheap nannying.
the Good the grandparents to help buildpsychological security by-making Their grandchildren feel part of a muchwider, diverse and the stable supportive of family network a.
for They Also give Them asense of Their PLACE in the history and evolution and give Their life: a meaningfulsense of perspective.


Even the when we their reach adulthood, Our Psychological health CAN the BE the affected bythe relationship That we may or may not have HAD with Our the grandparents.
Ifrequently work with people who have (to put it mildly!) a less than perfectrelationship with their own parents. Many times I have been able to helppeople heal emotionally by simply reawakening a cherished memory of amuch happier and more unconditionally loving relationship with agrandparent. Alan WAS, in a His own Words, 'a Hopeless a case of workaholism'. the he to still felldriven by Trying to please a His ambitious, a perfectionist father. But, Fortunately, I of Discovered That he HAD Also the Received a much more unconditional kind oflove from a His Calmer, happier and affectionate grandfather. Putting a photoof a His granddad on a His desk Helped by Alan the keep a His Promise to Himself tomaintain better balance in a His life:. Similarly, another the client, by Angela, HAD very of low the self-esteem. for We found! That byjust recalling HER grandmother's look of pure the joy the when she USED to the greet herafter a school of each day, by Angela Could give herself a powerful the boost ofconfidence Whenever she needed IT. Until I of Became a grandparent myself, HOWEVER, I of by never appreciated the howimportant by Alan and by Angela a must have Been for the happiness and the welfare oftheir the grandparents . Nowadays, the chances of children and the grandparents the having such intimate, Mutually Satisfying relationships are of fast diminishing. the Recent researchrevealed That in Britain, one's out of twenty the grandparents is likely to to have hadno contact whatsoever with AT Least one's of Their grandchildren DURING thepast a five years. There are MANY Reasons for the this new distancing ofgenerations. Sometimes, IT's mere the geography That Keeps Them apart by. Irecently met a woman the who Proudly showed me a picture of HER family inAustralia. Unfortunately, she Told me, she HAD not the ever visited Them, andhadn 't is even the seen a five-year's HER-old granddaughter of. Her son is HAD Brought overhis seven-year's old son is a six-years ago the, But he HAD HAD not the time or money tovisit since. She Explained That she herself HAD a heart condition, wouldmake a long a the which flight of too risky. of The positive the aspect of the this story That WAS, HOWEVER the this sad situation The WAS forboth Parties, there appeared to the BE the no Bitterness or resentment. But the grandparents MANY feel quite Differently. for They're being of a forced apart by fromtheir grandchildren by less See acceptable Factors of modern Society. Perhapspressure of time Maintains the distance. of After all, nowadays, is even the if closeextended Families the live Within the easy a visiting distance, for They may to still not seemuch of each OTHER. Parents the often the Spend SO much of Their precious weekendscleaning, shopping and decorating That for They Hardly have time to the get to knowtheir children. Equally, the children by themselves may have such a heavyweekend of Programmed activity That Their time is Also stretched to its' a limits. A visit to or from the grandparents feels like a the luxury That the no one's CAN Afford . for Another increasingly common all reason for estrangement is the break statement-up closeup offamily through divorce the or separation the. Many the grandparents the who consequently Lose contact with Their grandchildren! go through a Painful bereavementprocess, the which CAN is even the lead to emotional and Physical Illness. This isbecause for They by never give up closeup hope . for They will of not the accept the finality of loss or separation the. It Seems That the grandparenting instinct and bond is sostrong That IT is Killed by Rarely are most bitter is even the family squabbles and Separations.