ДНЕВНИК ДОМОВОГО. 12 сентября.Завёл

ДНЕВНИК ДОМОВОГО. 12 сентября.
Завёл новую тетрадку. Сижу на холодильнике, пишу. Три часа ночи. Хозяйка жрет колбасу и думает, что её никто не видит.
13 сентября.
Кот линяет. Я чихаю. Хозяйка крестится.

15 сентября.
Читали с котом Камасутру. Ну как читали?.. Ржали с картинок. Но потом много думали.
16 сентября.
Кот насрал под кроватью. Спрашивал у него - зачем? Говорит - само как то вырвалось. Переживает. Спрашивает у меня, где можно схорониться на пару дней.
17 сентября.
Хозяйкин хахаль полез за тапочками и вляпался в... историю. Кот сидел на шкафе и делал вид, что вытирал там пыль. Хахаль полез за ним, нае#нулся и сломал руку. Я от смеха упал вместе с люстрой на хозяйку. По календарю - благоприятный день.
19 сентября.
Хахаль пока не приходит. Хозяйка налупила тапком кота. Теперь он со мной не разговаривает. Я то причём?
20 сентября.
Подкинул коту записку с предложением мира. Тот долго делал вид, что умеет читать. В итоге сожрал её и сказал, что согласен. Кажется, я его недооценивал. Перепрятал дневник.

22 сентября.
Рубились с котом на щелбаны в камень-ножницы-бумагу. Неинтересно с ним играть. Потому что кроме бумаги он ничего поставить не может. Теперь лежит на кровати и жалуется на головную боль.
23 сентября.
Приходил сантехник. Попросил ключ на шестнадцать. Я ему подал. Что за привычка - падать в обморок?

25 сентября.
Опять поп, опять кадило. Попросил его сильно не дымить. Он сказал, что раз деньги уплочены, надо потерпеть. Намекнул ему про откат. Он сделал вид, что перестал меня слышать.
26 сентября.
Сказал коту, что в герани много витаминов. Что будееет...
27 сентября.
Хозяйка второй день спит со светом. Я периодически выключаю. Мешает же... Каждый раз засыпаю под молитву. По-моему, Есенин лучше писал.
28 сентября.
Отмечали день рождения кота. Пили валерьянку, катались на шторах, пели песни. Вечером сидели на подоконнике. Кот ходил по парапету и кричал, что если упадёт, то ни фига не будет, потому что у него девять жизней. Таким дурным по пьяни становится...
29 сентября.
Хреново... Молока бы...
30 сентября.
Смотрели с котом Animal Planet. Говорит, что все львы тупые качки, потому что сидят на анаболиках. Мне кажется, просто завидует.
2 октября.
Сказал коту, что если сидеть в коробке, реально можно похудеть. Хожу, ржу...
3 октября.
Завтра к нам в гости приезжает хозяйкина мама. Ждем-с...
4 октября.Вот и дождались. Приехала мама хозяйки. Встречал её хлебом-солью. То есть крошками на кровати и солью в чае. Не люблю гостей. Кот сказал мне, что я — социофоб. Не спорю.
5 октября.Хахаль в гипсе приходил знакомиться с мамой. Такой наглости не выдержал даже толерантный кот. Все таки нассал. В ботинок. В правый.
6 октября.Кот отхватил и от хозяйки и от Зинаиды Захаровны — её мамы. Хахаль воздержался. Кот перенес все героически. Потом спрашивал у меня — похож ли он на Жанну Дарк. Откуда он про неё знает?
7 октября.Играли с котом в футбол пробкой от шампанского. Зинаида Захаровна наступила на неё и влетела лбом прямо в шкаф. Теперь называем её Зинедином Зиданом. За глаза, конечно же.
8 октября.Хозяйка жаловалась Зидану на меня. Она ответила, что это все бред и убрала мою чашку с молоком. Это война. Карфаген должен быть разрушен.
9 октября.На экстренном заседании, кот объявил себя нейтралитетом. Предатель! Ничего, сам справлюсь.
10 октября.Ночью душил бабку. Хоть бы хны! Теперь она ещё и храпит, как сивый мерин!
11 октября.Сегодня в два часа ночи, хозяйка и бабка столкнулись лбами у холодильника. Встреча кишкоблудов на Эльбе, блин!
12 октября.Воевать нет настроения. Весь день валялся на кровати с бабкой, смотрел 27 сезон «Поле чудес» на DVD. Ржал с её комментов.
14 октября.Рассуждали с котом о теории струн. Сошлись на том, что на шестиструнке слабать «Восьмиклассницу» гораздо проще.

15 октября.Включили отопление. Наконец-то! Кот думает, что фильм «Батареи просят огня» о работниках ЖКХ.
16 октября.Сказал коту, что если залезть на обеденный стол, то этим он утвердит своё лидерство в квартире. Тот долго сомневался, но полез. Хозяйка появилась как всегда внезапно. Пролетая мимо меня, он успел обозвать меня говном. Два раза.
17 октября.Ночью шептал бабке на ухо, что ей пора домой. Она встала и пошла жрать пельмени. Женщины… Никакой логики…
18 октября.Кот решил бросить есть kitekat. Ходит злой, нервный. Ночью пять раз ходил на балкон, типа в туалет. Kitekat’ом несёт за версту. Сорвался, но продолжает утверждать, что может бросить в любой момент. А не бросает, потому что это его успокаивает.
19 октября.Кажется, бабка собирается домой. Слава Перуну!
20 октября.Устроили бабке проводы. Кот насрал (!) ей в галоши. Видать, она его тоже достала. Бабка не заметила, так и потопала. Научил кота мочить краба. Достойный поступок. Прощай, Зинедин! Ты навсегда останешься в наших сердцах! Мы запомним тебя такой — в галошах, полных говна…
22 октября.Уронил на хозяйку икону. Моя миска вернулась на место. Кажется, мы начинаем находить общий язык.
23 октября.Сказал коту, что когти лучше всего точатся о мягкую мебель. Теперь сидит в запертой кладовке?

Результаты (английский) 1:

DIARY OF A BROWNIE. 12 September.Once the new notebooks. Sitting on the refrigerator, I write. Three o'clock in the morning. Housewife eats sausage and thinks that no one else sees it. 13 September.Cat molts. I čihaû. The hostess is baptized.15 September.Read with the cat the Kama Sutra. Well as read?.. Go with the pictures. But then many thought. 16 September.Nasral the cat under the bed. I asked him why? Said-as it escaped. Going through. Asks me where to hot for a couple of days.17 September.Hozâjkin fancy climbed for slippers and because of ... the story. The cat was sitting on the Cabinet and pretended that was wiping out the dust. Fancy man climbed over him, our # nulsâ and broke his arm. I'm laughing with a chandelier fell on mistress. Calendar-the auspicious day. 19 September.Fancy until it comes. Mistress nalupila reality for the cat. Now he's not talking to me. I then where? 20 September.Tossed the cat note inviting world. The long pretended that can read. Eventually gobbled up her and said that I agree. I think I underestimated it. Pereprâtal diary.22 September.Teams clashed with the cat on ŝelbany in stone-scissors-paper. Not interested in playing with it. Because apart from the paper he had put there can. Now lay on the bed and complaining of a headache. 23 September.Plumber came. Asked the key to sixteen. I filed a. That habit-swoon?25 September.Again, pop, again a censer. Asked him not to smoke. He said the times should be borne by money. Hinted about rollback. He pretended that I hear. 26 September.Said the cat, as in geranium full of vitamins. The budeeet of ... 27 September.The mistress of the second day, sleeps with the light. I periodically turn off. Prevents the same ... Every time I fall asleep in prayer. In my opinion, Yesenin wrote better. 28 September.Celebrated the birthday of the cat. Pili @jen, skated on the curtains, singing songs. In the evening, sitting on the windowsill. The cat walked on the parapet and shouted that if fall, then damn will not, because he has nine lives. So bad for being drunk becomes ... 29 September.Hard time to ... Milk would be ... 30 September.Watching Animal Planet with her cat. Says that all Lions blunt pitching, because sitting on the anabolikah. It seems to me, is simply jealous. 2 October.Said the cat, as if sitting in a box, you can actually lose weight. Go, rust ... .... 3 October.Tomorrow comes to us hozâjkina mom. Wait-with ... 4. you are waited for October. Come Mommy mistress. Met her bread and salt. Then there are crumbs in the bed and salt in the tea. I do not like it. Cote told me that I was a sociofob. Do not argue.5 October: Fancy in the cast came to meet her mother. Such arrogance could not stand even the tolerant cat. Still nassal. In the boot. In the right. 6 October. Cat and owner of Apple and Zinaida Zaharovny: her mom. Fancy abstained. Cat suspends all heroically. Then asked me, does it look like on the Jeanne Darc. How did he know about it? 7 October, Played soccer with the cat Stopper from champagne. Zinaida Zakharovna came at her and banged his head right into the closet. Now call her Zinedinom Zidane. For the eyes, of course. 8 October. the mistress complained Azerbaijani on me. She replied that this is all nonsense and cleaned up my cup with milk. It is a war. Carthage must be destroyed. 9 October at an emergency meeting, the cat has declared itself neutral. The traitor! Nothing, he could handle it. 10 October at night choked Babka. Though henna! Now she also snores like old grey gelding! 11 October: today, at two o'clock in the morning, the hostess and the grandmother confronted against each other in the refrigerator. Kiškobludov meeting on the Elbe, pancake! 12 October: Fight no mood. Lay on the bed all day with his grandmother, watched the 27 season "field of wonders" on DVD. Neighing with her comments. October 14. Discussed with the cat on string theory. Agreed that the šestistrunke slabat′ "Vos′miklassnicu" much easier.15 October heating included. Finally! The cat thinks that the film "Batteries fire on workers ask for HOUSING. 16 October said the cat that if going to the dinner table, that he would approve of his leadership in the apartment. The long doubted, but fumbled. The hostess appeared suddenly, as always. One flew past me, he called me shit. Twice.17 October. on the night of his grandmother whispered in his ear that it's time to go home. She got up and went to eat dumplings. Women ... No logic ...October 18. The Cat decided to throw a kitekat. Runs angry, nervous. Night five times walked onto the balcony, type in the toilet. Kitekat'om is a mile away. Was broke, but continues to assert that can throw at any time. Instead of throwing, because it's his calm. 19 October. It seems, grandmother going home. Kudos To Perun. 20 October: A grandmother farewell. Cat nasral (!) her galoshes. See, she's got it, too. Grandmother didn't notice, and potopala. Taught the cat watering crab. A decent thing to do. Goodbye, Zinedine! You will stay in our hearts! We remember you that in galoshes, full of shit to ... 22 October. the hostess Dropped icon. My Bowl is back in place. It seems we're starting to find a common language. 23 October, said cat that claws best točatsâ on upholstered furniture. Now sits in a locked storage room?

Результаты (английский) 2:

DIARY houses. 12th September.
started a new notebook. I sit on the refrigerator, I write. Three o'clock in the morning. Mistress eats sausage and thinks that nobody sees it.
September 13.
Cat molts. I sneeze. The landlady of the Cross. 15 September. They read the Kama Sutra with a cat. Well you read? .. Whinnying with pictures. But then a lot of thought. September 16th. Ivory shit under his bed. I asked him - why? He says - as it is very broke. It is going through. He asks me where to bury a couple of days. September 17. Rented fancy man reached for slippers and run into ... history. The cat sat on the closet and pretended to wipe the dust there. Fancy man reached him, nai # tered and broke his arm. I'm laughing with the chandelier fell on the mistress. By the calendar - the auspicious day. September 19. fancy man until he comes. Hostess nalupila sneakers cat. Now he's not talking to me. And then I? September 20. cat threw a note with an offer of peace. That long he pretended to read. As a result, I ate it and said he agrees. I think I underestimated him. Perepryatat blog. September 22. were cut with a cat in schelbany the rock-paper-scissors. Not interesting to play with him. Because apart from the paper he did not deliver. Now lying in bed and complaining of a headache. 23 September. He came plumber. I ask for the key to sixteen. I handed him. What a habit - to swoon? September 25th. Again pop again censer. I asked him not to smoke heavily. He said that once the money uplocheny, we must be patient. I hinted to him about the rollback. He pretended that he no longer hear me. on 26 September. He said the cat that geranium many vitamins. What budeeet ... September 27. Hostess second day sleeping with the light. I turn it off periodically. Prevents the same ... Each time I fall asleep at prayer. In my opinion, Yesenin wrote better. September 28th. to celebrate the birthday cat. They drank valerian, riding on the curtains and sang songs. In the evening, sitting on the windowsill. The cat walked along the parapet and shouted that if falls, it will not be a fig, because he had nine lives. So bad drunk is ... September 29. Milk Sucks ... to ... September 30th. Viewed with a cat Animal Planet. He says that all the lions stupid pitching, because sitting on the anabolic steroids. It seems to me, is just jealous. October 2nd. Said cat that if you sit in a box, you can actually lose weight. I go, rzhu ... October 3rd. Tomorrow our guest arrives landlady mom. We are waiting, with ... 4 oktyabrya.Vot waited. Mom arrived the hostess. It met with bread and salt. That is the crumbs on the bed and salt in the tea. I do not like guests. Cat told me that I - social phobia. I do not argue. oktyabrya.Hahal 5 in the cast came to get acquainted with my mother. Such arrogance could not stand even the tolerant cat. All the same, Nassau. The shoes. In the right. 6 oktyabrya.Kot cut off and the hostess and by Zinaida Zakharovna - her mother. Fancy man abstained. Cat heroically endured all. Then he asked me - he looked like Jeanne d'Arc. How did he know about it? 7 oktyabrya.Igrali the cat soccer champagne corks. Zinaida Zakharovna stepped on her forehead and flew straight into the closet. Now we call it Zinedine Zidane. For the eyes, of course. 8 oktyabrya.Hozyayka Zidane complained to me. She replied that it was all nonsense and cleaned my cup of milk. This is war. Carthage must be destroyed. 9 oktyabrya.Na emergency meeting, the cat has declared itself neutral. Traitor! Nothing he can handle. 10 oktyabrya.Nochyu strangled his grandmother. Though henna! Now she is also snoring like a trooper! 11 oktyabrya.Segodnya two in the morning, the hostess and grandmother faced foreheads in the refrigerator. Meeting on the Elbe kishkobludov, damn it! 12 oktyabrya.Voevat not in the mood. The whole day lying on a bed with his grandmother, 27, watched season of "Field of Dreams" on DVD. Whinnying with its comments. 14 oktyabrya.Rassuzhdali with a cat on string theory. We agreed that shestistrunke slabat "Vosmiklassnica" much easier. 15 oktyabrya.Vklyuchili heating. Finally! Cat thinks that the film "Batteries are asked to fire" about employees of public utilities. 16 oktyabrya.Skazal cat if to climb on the dining table, then, he will approve its leadership in the apartment. He hesitated a long time, but is useful. The mistress always appeared as suddenly. Flew past me, he could call me by shit. Twice. 17 oktyabrya.Nochyu grandmother whispered in his ear that it was time to go home. She got up and went to eat dumplings. Women ... no logic ... 18 oktyabrya.Kot have decided to quit kitekat. Walks wicked nervous. At night, five times went to the balcony, such as the bathroom. Kitekat'om carries for miles. He ripped off, but goes on to say that can throw at any time. And do not throw, because it calms him. 19 oktyabrya.Kazhetsya, grandmother going home. Thank Perun! 20 oktyabrya.Ustroili grandmother farewell. Ivory shit (!) In her galoshes. Looks like she got it, too. Grandma did not notice, and stomped. Taught cat wet crab. Worthy deed. Farewell, Zinedine! You'll always be in our hearts! We will remember you so - galoshes full of shit ... 22 oktyabrya.Uronil icon on the mistress. My bowl was back in place. It seems that we are beginning to find a common language. 23 oktyabrya.Skazal cat claws that are best sharpened on upholstered furniture. Now, sitting in a locked closet?

Результаты (английский) 3:

The following points regarding the Рубились щелбаны in stone-scissors-paper. No Fantasy play with it. Because the paper was nothing that he could not place. Now rests with the beds and complains of the headache.
23 September.
rushed plumber.
Diary R. Levik. 12 September.
has frozen new amused contempt. Sitting on the fridge, I am writing. Three hours at night. Hostess copper came sausage and thinks that her nobody sees it.
13 September.
Cote and colorfast. I чихаю. Hostess afar off.lord on 15 September.
Read the following points regarding Камасутру. I read?.. Wilderness with pictures. But then much thought.
16 September.
Cote насрал under a bed. Asked about it - why? Said - in itself as well as the horses side by side. Is experiencing. He asked me,I am from laughter fell together with chandelier on the creature. On the calendar - a favorable day.
19 September.
Хахаль has not yet come. Hostess налупила тапком kota. He is now with me not talking. I have it with?
20 September.
Where can I схорониться for a couple of days.
17 september.
Хозяикин хахаль inaccuracy for slippers and received five machine in ... history. Cote was sitting on the cabinet and did view that never experienced this before in dust. Хахаль usefulness for them, нае#нулся and he broke his arm.Cot into a note with the proposal. The long did view that could read. In the end its her hips and he said that he agreed. It seems i am the one underestimates. Перепрятал diary.lord on 22 September.