IELTS Essay, topic: Dieting changes

IELTS Essay, topic: Dieting changes a person’s life
Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What is your opinion?
Almost ninety percent of the women today want a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have thought and gone on a diet before either to lose weight or just because of a health problem.
A proper diet programme will help you not only to slim down but also to have a healthier eating habits. For instance eating or consuming more vegetables and fruits than meat, avoiding fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme we shouldn’t deny ourselves food and water. There are some diet programmers from the doctors that help you to have a healthy heart like the “Three day diet” which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. This way of dieting will help you to avoid some of the health problems in the future like diabetes or a heart attack.
However some people do not only go on a diet but they avoid eating and stay hungry for the whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there are people who buy special diet programmers over the counter that are based on pills which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. They do not follow the basic rules of dieting and this will lead them to some serious health problems like dysfunctional of some body parts or, even worse, death.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and have a good reason for dieting.
This essay needs some work. It covers the task and has a good structure. The paragraphs are logically connected and many of sentences are structured correctly. However, there are some sentences with poor structure and many grammatical errors (See comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

Результаты (английский) 1:

IELTS Essay, topic: Dieting changes a person's lifeDieting can change a person's life for the better or ruins one's health completely. What is your opinion?Almost ninety percent of the women today want a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have thought and gone on a diet before either to lose weight or just because of a health problem.A proper diet programme will help you not only to slim down but also to have a healthier eating habits. For instance eating or consuming more vegetables and fruits than meat, avoiding fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme we shouldn't deny ourselves the food and water. There are some diet programmers from the doctors that help you to have a healthy heart like the "Three day diet" which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. This way of dieting will help you to avoid some of the health problems in the future like diabetes or a heart attack.However some people do not only go on a diet but they avoid eating and stay hungry for the whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there are people who buy special diet programmers over the counter that are based on pills which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. They do not follow the basic rules of dieting and this will lead them to some serious health problems like dysfunctional of some body parts or, even worse, death. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and have a good reason for dieting.This essay needs some work. It covers the task and has a good structure. The paragraphs are logically connected and many of the sentences are structured correctly. However, there are some sentences with poor structure and many grammatical errors (See comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

Результаты (английский) 2:

Essay the IELTS, topic: Dieting changes a person's life:
Dieting CAN the change a person's life: for the better or ruins one's health's a completely. Is your opinion for What?
By Almost ninety percent of the women 'want today has been a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Of the women 'Most Thought and have gone on a diet to the before an either Lose weight or just Because of a health problem.
A Proper diet will of Programme to help you not only to of slim down But Also to have a Healthier eating habits. For instance eating or consuming more vegetables and fruits than meat, avoiding fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme we should not deny ourselves food and water. There are some diet programmers from the doctors that help you to have a healthy heart like the "Three day diet" which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. Way of dieting This will of to help you to Avoid some of the health Problems view in the future like diabetes or a heart attack.
HOWEVER some people do not only! Go on a diet But for They Avoid eating and stay hungry for the Whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there are people who buy special diet programmers over the counter that are based on pills which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. For They do not follow the basic, the rules of dieting and the this will of the lead Them to some serious health Problems view like a dysfunctional of some body parts or, is even Worse, death.
With In up my opinion there is nothing wrong with going on a diet as with a long as with we follow the way of eating correct and have a good reason for dieting.
This essay Needs some work. It covers the task and has a good structure. The paragraphs are logically connected and many of sentences are structured correctly. However, there are some sentences with poor structure and many grammatical errors (See comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.